Expectations
I’ve never had an enemy
For all stories of fiction it always seems that every Yin has a Yang. Every hero has a nemesis, every left has a right, and every sword has another equal to clash with it on the field of battle. Maybe that’s why life is so hard sometimes. Who are we fighting? I think that’s a hard truth for me to understand. One day I looked at the mirror and came to the most clichéd line ever:
“I’m my own worst enemy.”
I don’t mean in some stupid Donnie Darko Fear/Love chart, I mean in the direct sense of we are constantly battling ourselves with what we want, and what’s expected of us. I’m always looking over my shoulder, ready for anybody with a motive in mind, to launch an attack on everything I stand for, and I feel like it’s my fault.
“The guilt is ours”, I think, and those aren’t even my words, but it encompasses so much of my life. There really is no one out to get me, and my consequences are only my own.
C on a test? Laziness
No Girlfriend? Cynicism, pessimism, timid
Dirty room? Laziness…
No publishing yet? Laziness
Get the picture? I’m either too ambitious or not ambitious enough…and lazy of course.
Whenever you hear your own name, what do you think about? Sound it out: Colton Royle (insert own name here). Do you picture yourself changing lives?
Colton Royle - Actor
Colton Royle - Writer
Mr. Royle - High School History Teacher
No I never wanted to be an actor, I didn’t think I was capable of it, and I don’t think I wanted to be in that profession, but I just use it for experimentation purposes. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m so ambitious that I fail my own expectations, and then I rant to no one, (or everyone). I am my own worst enemy, but I may be my own hero as well. Just having these thoughts about stardom may give an understanding to my life on a personal level. Athletes don’t understand our plight, nor do actors. Baseball cards won’t offer ultimatums, and actors hardly look directly at the camera.
Dreams and goals are so amazing to have right now. Even in college, where things are changing faster than highway driving, it’s important to have something to yourself. Feels good doesn’t it? If given the opportunity to do what we want, and what is expected of us is the same thing, what an experience.
The Arts
There will never be enough money to provide how much music, movies, and art I want to buy. Ever heard of Jack Vettriano? He’s an artist, and he paints these amazing, mesmerizing pieces that remind me so much of Mad Men, and why I love the time period. “Dance me to the End of Love” is such an incredible, and oddly simple painting that I want to own someday, but I can’t own it now, because of money. I will always wait for the next Radiohead or Regina Spektor CD, and I will always watch the next Darron Arronofsky movie.
The Star Wars movies coming out in 3D proves that George Lucas knows me better than myself. I will go see them, and he will make money, and everyone is happy. Even though I can conclude that I know more about the Star Wars universe than he does based on documentaries and clips and his new trilogy release, there is nothing more astounding than 3D original Star Wars. In a way, it’s that stupid nostalgia again, only this time it is a better thing.
What If?
If I was a woman, I would be a total tease. I’ve thought about this before only because I think it’s interesting. Here is what I would be as a woman in a nutshell.
-Work out constantly and eat celery for that rocking bod…
-Take that body everywhere and do some serious showing off.
-Talk to men, then give them my number, then never call them, ever
-I would also gossip about everyone
-I would wear fifties outfits, and make them work now
-I would always be at the beach on my free time-I would always carry books by Nietzsche, but only to look at while wearing sunglasses on the beach. Men would think there was something behind this rockin’ body. But I would be a house of cards
So I would basically be the Regina George of women, but I would be loaded with attitude, and I would still probably not get married. It is a good thing I’m a man, because I would be the most undesirable woman to walk this earth.
What is a Sin Tax?
This is the most under discussed topic I’ve heard in politics, so I’m going to address it, and destroy it right here.
Dictionary.com - a tax levied on cigarettes, liquor, gambling, or other things considered neither necessities nor luxuries.
What does that even mean? What an inappropriate use of the word sin, and what an inappropriate definition of things that are not necessities or luxuries. Thinking about this, I’ve confirmed that this whole tax is rather insulting. Based on my college experience I’ve come to some conclusions:
1) Lots of people smoke
2) LOTS of people drink
3) what is a necessity?
4) what is a luxury?
Everywhere I go, there is some lounging area, and there are some young, fresh, beautiful people holding a cigarette. The guilt is ours, because everywhere they go, they are asked, “why do you smoke?” The answer I always give is, “why do you watch movies?” or, “why do you want a child?” or “why do you want to get married?”
Granted I’m not directly answering the question, but further thought can conclude that I am. “Because I wanted to” is the most direct, pure and satisfying answer I’ve ever heard, and people rarely use it because the guilt is theirs.
Also I would hear, “you know smoking kills right?”
Technically so does watching movies, having a child, or getting married, but in a more abstract sense. Smoking is simply a life choice. The fact that there is an added tax to this “luxury” is ridiculous. Why don’t they sin tax movies? Or children? They are technically luxuries. Tobacco companies are the most under represented companies in America, because they haven’t had an advertisement since 1972. Think about how many people have been killed by drunk driving, and watch all those commercials for alcohol on ESPN.
Is smoking even a sin in the christian sense? No. Because if I was told to not touch the rock, not smoking is just someone building a fence around the rock to make sure I don’t touch the rock. When I die, and enter heaven, I highly doubt God is going to look down on me and say, “Well you followed my rules and you really did believe since the Power Team dunked you at age 7, but that smoking business really did it for me.” And then the trap door opens. Give me a break…
Lots of people drink, and especially in college. Mothers have a glass of wine, fathers have a bottle of beer, sports enthusiasts love watching a game with a friend or two with one in their hand. Yet this is a sin?
What is a necessity? Food, clothes, shelter? Good thing those are already all taxed, or have interest. What is a luxury? Now you really got to think about this one. Given the christian religion is what you believe, technically everything is a luxury. They ought to just tax everything and be done with it. What if you’re not even a christian? Hopefully you’ve come to the conclusion that life never throws hand-outs.
Given these two definitions, is there really an inbetween? How can something not be a necessity, and not be a luxury at the same time? It’s the most absurd concept, and the motive is so clear, it’s baffling. Someone out there knows that people will always smoke and drink, and gamble, because it’s been happening since Jesus in 0 A.D. It’s a good thing someone is making money off of my luxuries, my wants, my desires.
“There’s always money in the banana stand.”
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